Question:
ASLAMO ALAIKUM I am 40 yrs old woman. I was married 18 years ago by my family to my cousin. Who has been drinking from day 1 and likes immoral sex acts. I have caught him committing zina with our maid. He is rude and doesn’t care about my feelings. I have three daughters.
I am fed up and want to get out of this relationship. I have deprived him of sex for last two months. He always wants sex when he is drunk and I don’t want it anymore.
I have done isthikhara and made lots of dua to get out of this relationship. I am also interested in someone else whom I contacted after 20 years. We knew each other before marriage. He agreed to marry if I take divorce. I am not rushing because Ian worried about my daughters and their future but I don’t want to be intimate with my husband also because I wang to marry this guy. What should I do. I do make salat 5 times a day for last 20 yrs and have been good wife. I also support my husband financially for last ten years. He has lost all his money due to his habits.
Answer:
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
It is sad to note that you had to face such tragic circumstances in your marriage. We make Dua that Allah Ta’ala keep you strong and guide you. Ameen.
Your query relates to two issues.
1) Your Present Marriage
2) Your Intention to Marry this Second man
1) It is not possible for us to advise over email due to the intricacies involved. We recommend you take up this case with a local ulema council. They will be in a better position to advise.
2) As you are still married to your husband, speaking to another man regarding marriage is prohibited. Similarly, it is not permissible to withhold intimacy from your present husband. Although your husband may have neglected his duties, it his still his right that you do not seek another man. Thus, speaking to another man at this stage is inappropriate and must be discontinued immediately. Your focus should be first to attempt to fix your marriage.
